Why Self-Care Became The New Trendy 'IT' Word
By YADIRA FLORES
LCSW PHYCOTHERAPIST, COACH, TRAINER
Many people think that self-care has become trendy. The “it” word of the times. There are some who have even begun to shy away from it all together. However, we’re in a time where our schedules are so full we don’t notice how much of an emotional and physical toll it’s having on us. The reality is that self-care has become mainstream because of the value it brings. Self-care is a way to refuel and recharge. Having a regular self-care routine helps manage stress and improves your mental health. You don’t need an elaborate routine to practice self-care. There is no, one size fits all routine. You have to simply make sure it is deliberate and intentional, and it provides you with care.
One of the most important things to remember is that self-care is about receiving care and not self-escaping. What is the difference? For many, the notion of being deserving of receiving care is far fetching. Over time not caring for yourself causes less enjoyment in things that use to bring you happiness. You find yourself less tolerant of daily stressors. When this happens you begin to think of self-care, as an act to self-escape from taxing situations. You find that instead of the intentional and relaxing glass of wine, you have emptied a whole bottle, and are still in a state of stress and anxiety. Self-escaping is trying to numb yourself from the pressure you’re experiencing. When escaping you don’t have individual control of your emotions and body. Self-care on the other hand, is done with awareness and attunement. When someone asks me for ideas on a self-care routine, I find it challenging to provide a list of activities. Self-care is so individualized and personal.
Instead, I offer a self-check activity to help establish a good self-care routine. I ask people to evaluate all aspects of themselves to find balance in their mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. I ask they check-in with themselves in the following areas of health:
Mental - What am I doing to fuel my mind? How am I using my thoughts? What thoughts are working for me? What thoughts are helping me stay emotionally present?
Connectedness - How are my relationships? Am I feeling connected to others? What connections are helping me feel satisfied?
Physical - How is my physical health? How am I keeping my body healthy? What activities am I doing that keep me physical.
Spiritual – What do I see purpose in? What helps me find purpose? What is helping me heal?
If any of those areas are lacking, this is an opportunity to practice self-care. In order to develop a self-care routine, you should start small. Choose one practice per week, schedule a time, and do it with intent and consistency. The practice that you pick should bring you joy, calmness, pleasure, serenity and/or peace. The practice should help re-center you. For example, when I feel like I have no energy, I check in with my physical well-being. I think about what helps me feel more connected to my body. For me it’s spending at least 30 minutes moving. I am very intentional in finding the perfect time to add a moving activity to my day. That usually means, getting up first thing in the morning and getting a ride on my exercise bike. This helps me feel more energized, and I am in a better mood as I get ready to start my work day.
Whatever practice you choose doesn’t have to necessarily bring you balance in all of the areas of wellbeing mentioned above, but it should at least touch on one. Tackling one area at a time, will help you get one step closer to feeling well-adjusted. Prioritizing yourself will help you be more effective in all areas of your life. Remember, self-care is essential to living a balanced life.
